Lice? Or, Hi! I'm Josh, and Apparently I Need a Shower

Head lice suck.

These creepy little bugs get into and onto everything you own. Apparently they lay indestructible eggs from hell-to-breakfast. (I don't know what that saying means, but my mom uses it all the time, and I love it.)

The information publicly available on head lice all seems to contradict itself. Did you know that they can't survive for any meaningful length of time without a human host. One reputable website I read says that there is no need to go around scouring everything in the house and turning your life upside down because the lice and eggs will die without something to feed on. The same website then instructed me to place all of my daughter's stuffed animals into a plastic garbage bag for two weeks to starve the bugs. I do hope that the authors of this advice realize that my daughter's blue stuffed penguin does not actually contain any nutrients. The kits they sell to get rid of the lice are no better. The shampoo says to use it only once, as it is chemical in nature and could harm your scalp if used to excess. It also says that the itching may continue even after using the shampoo. The itching makes you think the bugs are back, and makes you want to re-use the shampoo!

Then there is the small matter of informing other interested parties of the presence of head lice. When I was in school, about once or twice a year the nurse would have to come into our classroom and check everyone's head for lice. It always seemed to coincide with the couple days that the creepy-smelly kid in the corner (with no friends) was 'sick'. Now I had the pleasure of informing my daughter's Sunday School teacher that my daughter was, in fact, the creepy-smelly kid in the corner who would be out 'sick' while everyone got checked for lice. Few things make you feel like more of a failure as a parent.

Of course, there is the ever-present questioning, “Where did she get it?” Honestly, I have no idea. My wife thinks it may have been at Sunday School, but no one else in the class has reported lice (that I've heard anyway.) Could it have been at the park? These are about the only places my kid spends much time around other children, and both seem unlikely candidates.

I've given up the search for the source. I've shaved my head. I've used my first blog entry to vent the frustrations of head lice infestation. I guess now I should get back to bleaching everything my family owns.



Death to the bugs (like Starship Troopers!)


Josh